It’s no secret I have one (okay, maybe two) tattoos I’ve… outgrown. One, in particular, I downright hate. For the last 17-ish years, I’ve regretted getting it. I thought I was stuck with it forever, a permanent reminder of questionable early-20s decision-making.
It’s on my hip (you can see the disaster below), which means lower-cut bathing suits put it on full display, and not in a cute way. The one on my rib cage? I don’t hate it, but I don’t love it showing out of certain dresses or swimsuits either. I like to choose when my tattoos make an appearance, which, at this stage of life, is rarely.
Now, some of my tattoos I adore. My OG millennial lower-back butterfly, yes, the infamous “tramp stamp,” is one I’ll happily be buried with. The ones on my ankles and feet? Love. But the hip tattoo? Full on despise. After a year of living in an apartment where my bathroom mirror confronted me with it daily, and I couldn’t keep trying to forget it was there, it officially became the bane of my existence.
I’ve been working hard in the gym, loving the body I’m building, and then there’s this tacky “bumper sticker” ruining my Bentley (shoutout to Kim Kardashian for that analogy). For over a year, I’ve been saying, I need to look into removal. And as if the social media gods were listening (and we know they always are), I started getting ads for Removery, a nationwide tattoo removal studio.
My Quit-Smoking Gift to Myself
Every year on my quit-smoking anniversary, I give myself a little present. Think of it as my own Treat Yo’ Self day, but instead of splurging on something silly, it’s usually something that marks the occasion in a meaningful way for me. Over the years, it’s been classic luxury shoes, botox, lips, the promise to always have my nails done, etc. Things that make ME feel good.
This year — lucky number seven — I decided my gift would be freedom from my most regrettable tattoo. I’d been talking about removal forever now, so it felt like the perfect time to finally stop talking and start doing.
I booked a consultation with Removery in less than five minutes. No awkward phone calls, no chatbots pretending to be human , just a quick online form (bless!). Within minutes, I had a confirmation and text/email reminders for my appointment.
The Consultation:
When I arrived, the vibe was warm and welcoming. I filled out some forms on an iPad, then met with the technician. She examined the hip tattoo I wanted gone and told me it would take about 10 sessions for complete removal. As I’d already done my homework, stalked their website, looked at the before-and-afters, and read up on the process, at this point I only wanted to know one thing: how much is this going to cost me?
The answer? Not cheap. But I was in full you-can’t-put-a-price-on-happiness mode. I signed up for their unlimited plan at $2,100.
Then I casually mentioned that I might want to remove my rib tattoo too. She checked the size and explained that adding it now would be more cost-effective than starting a whole new contract later. All in, the total came to $2,784. (Still repeating: you can’t put a price on happiness.)
They offer 0% financing for two years (if your credit is solid), which made it easier to commit and digest this cost that was easily $1,000 over my treat yo self budget.
And the very best part? They started Round 1 that day.
One more time for you can’t put a price on happiness!
How Tattoo Removal Works (The Short Version)
Here’s the science-y part: your body sees tattoo ink as a foreign invader and tries to get rid of it. The problem? Tattoo ink molecules are too big for your immune system to break down easily, which is why tattoos last so long, or if you hate yours, what feels like forever.
Laser removal speeds up that natural process. At Removery, they use the PicoWay laser, which blasts the pigment into teeny-tiny particles your immune system can flush out. Fun fact: the laser isn’t actually “removing” your tattoo, your body does the heavy lifting. So, the healthier you are, the easier the process. (Cue me using this as extra motivation to stick to the gym.)
The First Session
After signing the contract and setting up my payment plan, I headed back to the lobby to wait for my technician. A few minutes later, she led me into a clean, simple treatment room that felt like a med spa.
First, we took photos of both tattoos — one set for me to track my progress and one set for their records. Then it was time to ice the hip tattoo to get it good and cold before the laser.
When the area was numb, she handed me protective glasses and fired up the PicoWay laser. Pain-wise, it’s not pleasant, but it’s not the worst thing I’ve felt either. Imagine a rubber band snapping against your skin. The hip was totally tolerable, but my rib tattoo? That one stung more. My best guess is that I didn’t hold the ice on long enough because I was distracted by how satisfying it was to finally see the hip tattoo start to fade. Which I should note that only lasts a minute or so – the white you see is from the laser rapidly heating the tattoo ink particles, causing them to shatter and release tiny gas bubbles under the skin. Basically, it’s letting you know the laser is doing its job.
The whole session for both tattoos took less than 15 minutes. Before I knew it, we were done and booking my next appointment — eight weeks out to start, though the sessions will get closer together as the process goes on.
Aftercare
Before I left, my tech handed me a small take-home bag with printed aftercare instructions, basically a “Congratulations, You Survived Your First Laser Session” kit. Also, the lolipop was a nice touch.
The main rules for the first 24 hours were:
No heat, water, sweat, or sun on the treated area.
Keep it clean and dry.
Avoid anything that could rub or irritate it for 24–72 hours.
I listened… mostly. (I may or may not have gone to Pilates 18 hours later.)
And, of course, the big one: don’t mess with it. Every little bit of healing is your body doing the hard work of flushing out the ink, so the more you leave it alone, the better your results.
I left feeling equal parts accomplished and excited, like I’d just taken the first real step toward finally breaking up with a mistake I’ve been stuck with for almost two decades.
Final-ish Thoughts
I’ll update this blog as I go, with pictures and progress notes, but here’s my takeaway so far: We no longer have to “Live, Laugh, Love” our bad tattoo decisions for infinity (see what I did there…).
We can erase some mistakes from our early 20s. Sadly, ex-boyfriends and questionable situationships aren’t on the list. But this? This we can fix!